Poop is the New Smurf


“Poop,” I wrote, chuckling to myself, “is the new smurf.”

I was leaving a comment at Jonathon’s, and needless to say I was rather pleased with myself. I mean, come on, that’s smurfing brilliant.

For those unfamiliar in the way of the Smurf there are a few things you should know to fully appreciate just how brilliant I am.

a) The Smurfs became extinct as a people due to the fact that there was only one female among their entire population and she was a tease.

b) Due to living in a mushroom the Smurfs were constantly hallucinating, paranoid and possibly impotent.

c) The Smurfs, and this is the only point that actually pertains to my comment, had a knack for replacing random words within their vernacular with the word “smurf.” The word “smurf” could mean anything, a verb, adjective, adverb, and to a lesser extent a noun, unless said noun was an actual Smurf- for instance.

Enter poop.

Kids, it seems, are much like Smurfs, but instead of smurfing everything with “smurf” they prefer to work in a different medium. Poop.

Much like the above link to Jonathon’s blog, my life is filled with poop where I don’t want it. Literally and figuratively.

“What do you want for lunch?” I’ll ask.

“A peanutpoop and jelly sandwich,” they’ll reply, laughing.

“Don’t smurf around, I’ll make you a damn peanutpoop sandwich and you’ll eat it.”

-or-

“Where do you want to go today?”

“To the poop.”

“Seriously, the poop? What’s that, a store?”

“No, the poop!”

“The park?”

“The poop! The poop!”

“Do you have to go to the bathroom?”

And so forth and so on. Poop, it seems, is the new Smurf. And smurfly, I think it’s pretty poopy.

But it gets old.

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