Where I Scratch Out Assvice

I’ve been asked to participate in the virtual shower for Her Bad Mother, Mrs. Chicky, and Mrs. Chicken, three bad mothers you know so well lovely ladies that are all about to ruin change their lives with the addition of a second child. I feel like a rooster in her bad hen house.

I’m supposed to offer what I can in the way of ass/advice regarding the transition from one child to two. If DON’T DO IT is no longer an option then I can only think of one thing. Forget the Diaper Genies and bottle warmers of the world, you need these:

If you buy now I’ll even throw in the handsome models (at a discount rate). Just don’t let them catch you hitting the ‘hill people’s milk’ or you’ll find yourself in an awkward situation.

The safety word is “please.”

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