Coffee, Tea, Soda-Pop, Pee

Coffee is good. It has magical and wondrous powers that we, simple mortals, can only begin to understand. It runs in my blood, thick and warm, right next to last nights whiskey. Coffee fuels me.

We here at the Honea Express do not own many modern things that others take for granted, namely a microwave, dishwasher, nanny, or electric coffee maker. Instead we have a stove, a sink, grey hair, and a Freedom Press. Oh, the republicans are gone, a French Press.

We grind our own beans every morning, say some magic words (mumble actually, something along the lines of “Imaya gonnna mac sum cough-e, doya wan sum?”) and let the press do the rest.

As I wrote previously about the holiday beers bringing out the best of the craft, so too the coffee. Starbucks offers a Christmas blend that is their best offering of the year. They also package it in blue and call the same beans “Holiday Blend” so as not to offend our non-Christian friends. Unnecessary? Ask Wal-Mart.

Starbucks also has a line of espresso drinks that are divine, namely a peppermint mocha, an eggnog latte, and their greatest contribution to mankind, the gingerbread latte. Heaven in a hot red cup. It may be better than sex, which I can say with authority because I’ve actually had a gingerbread latte recently.

Trader Joe’s has a winter coffee offering that is really nice also, and like most things in their store, it is probably the best monetary deal as well. More bang for the buck and all that. Their beans are actually mixed with pieces of spice that add a bit of color to the bean ash I spread throughout the garden. Holiday tidings indeed.

I’m on my third mug of Christmas blend as I type this, and it’s good. It will hold me over nicely until I can justify opening a bottle of Anchor Steam’s winter ale. Oh, the holidays!
Yes, that’s 50.7 FL. OZ. of Anchor Christmas, 16(x3)FL. OZ. of Starbuck’s Christmas, 20LBS.of baby, and 176LBS. of dumbass

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