Repent While You Can!

I had a bit of a surprise tonight. Some friends of mine that are getting married asked if I would consider performing their wedding ceremony. Of course I was honored by the very thought, but I quickly made sure that they were aware of the fact that I am not clergy, nor am I even religious for that matter. As it turns out, they did know that I am a heathen, but they were sticking by their request.

I went home (this proposal occurred at the bartop over Bass and french fries) and jumped onto Al Gore’s greatest contribution to mankind, the internet. Lo and behold- I could become ordained clergy with any number of religious and not so religious churches with just a few keystrokes. Being shrewd as I am I chose the cheapest. Free in fact.

And that’s how it happened. I am now officially and legally able to perform weddings, per my standing in The Church of Spiritual Humanism, in all 50 states. I’m starting in California. The irony here is that I actually agree with the gist of their doctrine and despite the only criteria demanded of me being three minutes and a computer, I feel that I may humor this undertaking and make the most of my new position.

I’m going to start with the open bar.

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